TURIN SHREWD
It can be difficult watching England. Mainly because there are times when they are playing with such lethargy that it’s enough to make The Fiver glance down at its tin of Special Drink and wonder if someone has slipped a tub of Mogadon into it, fearing that it won’t be long before it’s crawling helplessly around its front room like a much less charismatic and wealthy Jordan Belfort. Maybe that’s paranoia. But why else would they be running around so slowly? Professional footballers shouldn’t be running around that slowly. In fact, human adults shouldn’t be running around that slowly, which is why The Fiver is often left suspecting that foul play is afoot and that someone is trying to mess with its head. And rest assured, it doesn’t take much to mess with The Fiver’s head. What were we talking about again? Cheese? Unicorns? Cheese?
DEAR APRIL FOOLS IDIOTS, IF WE WANTED UNFUNNY GAGS ABOUT FOOTBALL, ETC AND SO ON
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from Sport | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1C8hlGm
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